top of page

Boundaries are self care

A couple of weekends ago I went to a small dance event with about 130 people. After the weekend I noticed that the main theme for me was consent and boundaries. I literally said no probably 50 times and it felt so fucking good. “No, I don’t want to dance x 20” “No, I don’t want to cuddle” “No, I don’t want to hug right now” “No, I don’t want to put my leg closer to yours” “No, I don’t want to do this exercise even though the facilitator is telling us to.. I can choose what feels right to me” “Hey, I know we are partners for this next practice but I actually need to go nourish my body and take care of myself so I’m going to opt out and I hope you find another partner” “No, I don’t want to come closer to you even though you are motioning me to come forward since that’s the practice with this boundary exercise.” “No, I don’t want to go on a walk and look at the moon even though you started walking immediately after you asked expecting me to say yes.” There are so many more examples I could give... those are the ones I still remember. One thing I noticed was that I felt I needed to explain why I was saying no to make sure not to hurt their feelings and I quickly caught myself and reminded myself it was not my responsibility to make sure they didn‘t take it personally. I understand now why my entire life I have felt suffocated and been in so much pain. In the past I would’ve never been able to say no. My codependency was so strong if someone told me to do something, like the facilitator for directions of an exercise or if someone asked me if I wanted to come with them and started walking.. I would’ve done it even if I was terrified and getting a huge no inside because I was operating from an implicit and automatic response. I was not taught how to pause, to listen, to feel and most importantly to not put someone’s else’s feelings over my own sense of truth and inner voice! I was also so afraid of not being accepted that I would say yes in order to be liked because I didn’t want to feel the intensity of my rejection wound and I also didn’t know how to handle if someone else felt rejected if I said no. It’s scary to hurt someone’s feelings.. but it is even more detrimental to continuously dishonor your self and abandon your truth. Please know we set boundaries to protect and honor ourselves, not to offend or hurt other people. This is a reminder for all of you to set healthy boundaries, to continue to come into your power & into your knowing of what’s best for you, to say no as much as you need until a yes is flowing from the most pure and authentic place of truth. Two main things have helped me with boundaries the last year 1. The book ‘Not Nice’ .. EVERYONE NEEDS TO READ THIS IF YOU HAVE TROUBLE SAYING NO! 2. WOMB CLEARINGS & CONSCIOUS CELIBACY To read more about how conscious celibacy and womb clearings helped me with boundaries click here 👉 The next collective Womb Clearing Ceremony is coming up on the New Moon in Libra this Saturday September 28th. These ceremonies have been so powerful and are a great place to start to become stronger in your Boundaries, clear out blocked emotional/s3xual energy, reconnect to the womb voice and love yourself more as that’s what I have learned is the key to the deepest healing For more details & to register click the link in the comments Or send me a message if you have any questions! Sending you so much love XO ~Anaia

1 view0 comments
bottom of page