Pain to Pleasure

Pain and pleasure are so closely related.

I was in so much pain today...

This veil of weakness took over and covered me like a heavy cloak

I couldn’t escape it

And I didn’t want to dive into it

I knew it was there and I was consciously choosing to not really pay attention to it

Because I know it’s a deep one

And I know once I go in there is never going back

Am I ready to give up playing small?

You would think the obvious answer would be yes but you see it’s not that easy

I’ve played small my whole life

It’s in my genes

It’s so normal and safe to me

But I can not take it anymore

The pain I feel from playing small is too big

It’s miserable

This energy is not in resonance with my frequency so I am seeing and feeling it more clearly than ever before

I went to dance today

My stomach was in so much pain

Around an hour in the chaos part of the music came on

I had to run to the bathroom

I threw up

The music and my stomach were pulsing as one

Helping me purge

I threw up everything that was holding me back from being free

I let it all go

And I came back on the dance floor and felt so free

Felt so ME!

Ahhhhhhh turning pain into ecstatic ecstasy

It’s truly a gift to be able to alchemize these intense emotions into bliss

It’s getting easier and easier

It’s like my dragon knows how to burn it all back into Love

It use to be so hard

I would get stuck for days, weeks, even months..

Now it’s hours

Quicker and quicker I am able to come back into the Truth and wholeness of what is real

The fragments don’t seem like such a big deal

Because they don’t take me over anymore

I am anchored, attuned, and more centered in my core

Everything is changing


Accelerating rapidly

As I continue to master the alchemy

Of turning intense pain

Into a game

And conjuring my power back from where it originally came

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